Bekah and I went on an extended vacation to LA recently to visit our friend Nikki and my bff Dave who is a corn farmer in Kansas.** I learned several (not so) very important life lessons accompanied by a few (not so) profound epiphanies. I hope these have a dramatic impact on all of your lives…
In LA I learned…
…..that the grass actually is greener on the other side. (obviously a metaphor because I don’t think I saw a single blade of grass while I was there)
…..that when talking with a sweet enthusiastic little goth fellow (Kynt) for an hour about Mac cosmetics, comic book movies and Hello Kitty fashion accessories, never assume he hasn’t been travelling the planet with his hot goth girlfriend (Vyxsin) as a semi-famous finalist on the Amazing Race. Wikipedia has just informed me that the “ubiquitous dating goths” have since been eliminated but had a great run.
…..never underestimate a cupcake
…..that as much as I love modern indie dance music, all you really need to keep a party going is a room full of people who don’t suck, a tall bald pastor doing some sort of interpretive gorilla dance and a chick spinning James Brown and Aretha records. (and arguably a dude pouring half price beer)
…..that when you say “no onions please” it actually seems to mean “not only do I want onions but I demand them in excess.” Good to know.
…..that not every person there is a famous actor; some of them are also in gangs. However, bff Kansas corn farmer Dave and I think we saw Jay-Z like 12 times and Vern Troyer standing on a speaker taking pictures.
** Just so he doesn’t whine, I will clarify that bff Dave isn’t a corn farmer, he is the guitarist for Far Beyond Frail and “D” list celebrity in the renown Kansas City, Missouri hipster scene.
*** I should also clarify that I don’t walk around in LA or anywhere else looking for 31yo goth boys who look 12. I was waiting with my WIFE and Nikki in an embarrassingly long line of small girls, soccer moms and middle aged goth boys who were buying limited edition Twilight DVD’s…(I’m not proud of that either)
To be continued…